Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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