Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
