the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
