Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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