I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
