it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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