I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
