either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
