i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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