Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
