Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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