yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
