I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You're earring is so big in my mouth
This house was built for laser tag.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
