Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
