A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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