she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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