yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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