I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
