bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
