I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Bang-toberfest begins!!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
