my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
