I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
