Small penises have feelings too.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
