I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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