This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
