I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Say something about gay babies.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
