First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
