at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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