Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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