My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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