hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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