I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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