At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Randomize
