now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
