me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
