The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize