Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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