That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
