PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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