Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
