twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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