a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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