Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
