I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
