all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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