new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
