So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
