smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
