She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
