I don't think brook has ever known best
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
