He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
