please come you make the beer taste better
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
As shirtless as possible
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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