I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
