I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize