i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize