is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
