hotel room ftw
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
