so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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