On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
