im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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