I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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