i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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