ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
